christmas in march

why are you acting offended by this? it's completely within my realm of normalcy to get around to things 3 months behind schedule.
 hello. you knew what i was when you picked me up.
awkward.
 well now that is out of the way.
let's remember Christmas 2011..



isn't this is a sweet picture of bramma and her grandbabies?
we spent our usual christmas eve with dustin's family and as usual it didn't disappoint.



cute cousins waiting for presents. i like the christmas tradition on dustin's side.
my girls love these boys.
really, they do.

 
treats for santa.



good news: he came.
bad news: my tree lights never make a full season.

 

mcnuggets sure were happy to find their loot awaiting them.
do you also love their peignoir night gowns? i was dead set this year on finding them. i grew up wearing them and never could quite get over the novelty of having a lacy matching dressing robe and gown. turns out neither can my girls.
poppy in her usual fashion, was up about 100 times (it seemed) during the night. she was so very careful  to make sure she arrived at our door fully robed each awakening. even through my frustration i knew she was dang cute. christmas will do that to you.



the pink guitar.
it's popularity lasted all of about 12 hours.



and the beloved "dancing baby".
 this was minie's golden item. she has wanted it since her birthday in July.
i have been against it since then.
isn't it a dumb doll? she has weird jointed knees and wobbles side to side in a very jerky manner to the beat of a VERY obnoxious personalized dancing baby song.
yuck.
why does santa come through with these things?


so there.
there is my christmas update. this post has been weighing on my mind for literally months .
you see.. other than these few snaps you're currently viewing, the end of december was not a good one.
it was always forecasted to be crazy. normal christmas crazy, pregnancy.. and we decided to move. big deal.
but worse and genuinely most difficult of it all was the death of my sweetest, so loved, so beautiful grandma Billie.

her health had turned, and we knew this was on the horizon. but her passing on christmas eve felt like an unsuspected slap to the face. dustin and i were literally out the door to visit her when i received the phone call she had passed. all of the sudden a gigantic hole was in my life. she had always been there.

this amazing and strong matriarch of the family. and then she was gone.

i haven't really known how to express what i feel. i am one of 6 children. we all feel her loss immensely. after her memorial i had no unique inspirations or memories. my own thoughts were all echos of everyone who loved and knew her. so i just have said nothing. how can i say anything?

 but it feels wrong because i love her so much. she was so much to me. everyday.

and life still moves forward. that is always constant. 

and for that.. after some contemplating.. i am so thankful. 

my life is happy, and blessed.

so i end this post with just one thing i want to always be remembered and jotted down. one thing that feels good enough. 

one i hope all who ever may read this silly blog remembers.

not the nightgowns, 

not the presents,

not the tree...

Grandma Billie... I love you.

so very much.