Sunday, October 25, 2009

up and up

10 days later and missy moo's bruises are nearly all but gone.
and much thanks to some darling bangs, the black and blue (and yellow) stayed well hidden for the most part.
hooray to small victories

so yes, things are on the up and up.. in general.
and it feels pretty nice.
i still am running around like a crazy person,
and yes, minie escapes from bed every night with her new found independence found in the big girl bed.
poppy still crawls and destroys around like a little gremlin.
the house still remains untidy, and a tad ragged around the edges.
photography is busy as ever, and i am still behind as ever..
dustin even started working saturdays.

but despite all of that crazy, life still feels up.
and i am grateful.
grateful for this season,
grateful for my family,
grateful for our so far good health.
grateful for the gospel.
grateful for therapeutic target runs.
yummy home cooked meals.
and most grateful for feeling hopeful.
hopeful and faithful that this feeling will stay.
and it's even 1:57 AM.

hope this post spreads a little of the love.



Wednesday, October 14, 2009

wo is me

and her.
(more on this later...)

be prepared because this post is going to be one gigantic pity party.
oh yesterday.

the day started way too early. minie was up and at em' with the sun and was in particular form. the kitchen somehow morphed into an impressive disaster during breakfast, and neither daughter was too jazzed about getting dressed for the day. poppy is a tiny maniac these days who won't hold still for nothin' and thinks its hilarious she can squirm and crawl out of any situation. she's caught on to the advantage of a 16 month age gap, and has turned into to a wicked little child.
before you judge and think that is too harsh.. just read on.

somewhere in my over tired brain i thought the 10:30 story time at the library clear across the valley sounded like a good idea, so add rush mode to my already challenged morning, and well.. it just gets worse.
running about 10 minutes behind i fumbled out the door with poppy. we have a loading routine the starts with taking poppy to her seat first while minie waits at the window, and then back to the house for mins and it's her turn. this usually runs quite smoothly, and i truly believed i had it down pat. but as par for course poppy would not hold still. in attempt to occupy her while i sneakily buckled her in i gave her the car keys to play with. about 10 seconds into that i decided it actually wasn't such a good idea, what with flu season in mind and all, and i tossed them to the passenger seat while i finished the task at hand.  she was buckled, binkied, and rhett to go. i shut the door, and then went for the handle of my door to start the car. one big, slightly exaggerated yank , and then...
panicking, pulling, pulling, pulling.
i was locked out,
poppy was locked in
to save you countless words of reading i am just going to sum up the next 5 minutes into two words..
 irrational, distress.
i paced, i called her father, i screamed, i knocked, i rummaged, i cried ( just a little), and
then kennan finally saved the day and called to inform me the cops were on their way.
i was relieved, and slightly scared. cops scare me, and locking your baby in the car just didn't shed me in the best light.
well...10 minutes, two cop cars, 4 police officers, AND a fire truck full of paramedics later the car was finally open. poppy never even made a fuss the entire time, and i am pretty sure had a nice little snooze while waiting. that didn't stop the officers from giving me a firm talking too though, and as i sheepishly drove away (yes.. thats right.. i still tried to make story time) i couldn't help but feel somewhat criminal-esque.

after meeting up with kennan and sneaking the kids into the registered story time that we weren't actually supposed to be at, we decided lunch and a target run sounded dreamy. lunch miraculously went very well considering we went some place fancy ( cafe rio is as fancy as you get when there are 4 babies to 2 adults). the generally drama-free lunch gave us incorrect confidence and we decided to hoof it on over to target. we loaded the kids in carts and had made it as far as the dollar section, when all of the sudden minie decided to go cart diving, and head planted (very hard.. like disgusting cracking noise hard) to the tile below. she landed in an awkward position, and immediately started screaming, and bruising. the fuss caught the attention of the Target manager and he and another official looking man urged us to fill out an incident report form. however, upon discovering minie was indeed riding in the front of the cart they specifically advise you to not put your children in, we were sent on our merry little way. minie wouldn't stop howling, and i figured it was a good thing as far as head injuries go, so i proceeded to the pharmacy for some children's motrin, and then a stroll down the halloween isle. nothing makes her happier normally. but alas, the screaming didn't stop so i finally threw in the towel and walked the length of the parking lot back to the car. as i was buckling minie into her car seat she all of the sudden stopped crying got this dazed look, and then her left eye starting wondering off apart from her right. and the she started crying again, and then would just stop and start falling asleep. i decided that wasn't normal, tried to keep her awake, and made a call to our pediatrician. after hearing her symptoms they advised we take a trip the ER. 
at this point i just had given up on the day producing anything but drama so off went with no complaint.
and OF COURSE as soon as we were in triage, minie was acting fit as a fiddle. intrigued with all the action going on, asking every nurse and doctor for a sticker, coloring, and giggling she was the poster child for a healthy 2 year old. by the time the doctor finally got to us, he gave me the paranoid mother look, and prescribed 45 minutes of "observation" time. after she colored her way through a cup of juice and some goldfish we were sent home. the doctor said her neurological exam was clean, she had no broken bones, and aside from an impressive goose egg she was fine. he told us she probably had had a minor concussion (what happened in the car) but that all was okay.
that girl...
after the ER, minie came home, walked herself to her bed, climbed in, and asked to go "nigh nights". i happily obliged, and when she woke up nearly hours later it was like nothing ever happened. she has been fine ever since, and it goes with out saying how thrilled we all were when dustin came home from school an hour earlier than normal. i happily let him bathe and put the babies to bed. 
tuesday, october 13th 2009..
it sorely needed to end.

so as the old saying goes..
when it rains it pours.
i'm still not fully recovered. my darn luck seems to be lingering.
today i woke up feeling sick, and extremely, extremely tired. the girls and i didn't leave once. as soon as dustin got home i had a photo shoot to be to, and after being stuck in traffic for 30 minutes, meeting up with the family, and fighting for the fading light, i discovered my camera had no battery in it. realistically there was no way i could go home a retrieve it in enough time, so after this darling family had gone to the huge effort of dressing up and looking perfect we had to reschedule.
once again Laura.. i am SO sorry. i know you said it was okay, but i still feel horrible.

that's my party.
did you enjoy wallowing in my pity with me?

i can't say you weren't warned.

and now i am off to bed.

until next time, and i promise a better day


Sunday, October 11, 2009

trying to be festive

we also did this yesterday.

we payed $5 for 5 pumpkins,
minie got lost in the corn maze,
greta threw a gorgeous tantrum due to a stroller mishap,
kennan was a single mom,
poppy wore her new jacket that the jury is still out on,
and the weather was perfect.

i have no witty commentary. 
just a snap of these very cute kids.

i love them.
 all four of them.

away, away

isn't coming home from vacation the worst?
all the laundry, the messy house, the de-scheduled (yes.. that's a word  )children, the depression because the fun is all over.
 i hate it, and so far have done pretty good at ignoring it all.
but tomorrow is monday, and that day almost always seems to be a nice slap of reality.
i hate it.

last week wrapped up our favorite get-away. 
jackson hole.

between the chilly weather,
comfy sweats, conference talks, yummy treats, crafts, card games,
read-a thons,  and sister laughing..
well, i  admit to down right missing last week.
jackson's weather is still tuned into my phone and i have a pang of sadness every time i scroll through it.
i'm not ready for the cold here quite yet...
but snow in jackson?
 well that is a different story entirely.

are you depressed yet with me??
good :)

here is the week in pictures.. not in order, some with the nice camera, some with the snap and shoot,
ALL making me feel a little blue..

some of you asked who took the pictures on the last post...
that would be my very talented sister Robyn
she did a fantastic job.. didn't she?
i love them..

i hope she loves the ones i snapped of her family too.
forget the fact that it was below freezing with the biting wyoming wind in that field..
because her family still manages to look beautiful.

we love you.

and yes,
she, my sister is gorgeous.
and yes,
you can be jealous.

i am.

Jacskon Hole...

i miss you.

until next year.

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

4 years of being mr + mrs. jackson

does that seem right? i swear it really, truly was just yesterday when we looked at each other and said yes. when i called to tell you i was running a little late, and you knew (even then..) that meant a lot late. the day we cried as we sat and were married and sealed for time and all eternity. the day all those silly photos were taken, the loooong, long luncheon and reception, the anxious and exciting drive up to park city afterwards.. the roses, the candles, the new husband and wife, both needing a benadryl due to the immense allergy attack we received after lavender was tossed (read: thrown..and hard) at our heads as we departed.
the gorgeous time we had in maui.
i loved you then,
and couldn't wait to start our already wonderful life together.

4 years doesn't sound like much.
and really it's not.

but it is.
so so much.
the pregnancies,
the losses,
the children,
the silliness,
the stress,
the fear,
the hope,
the comfort,
the endurance,
and the support.
somehow 4 seems much, much more.
and that boy i married those years ago?

he is gone.
you definitely won't find him here.

because a new man has taken his place by me.
a man who knows me at my worse
and loves me at my worse.
a man who knows i must snack before bed, usually in bed. and is okay with it.
a man who doesn't feel threatened to watch my shows, and help out with my chores.
a man who is so adored by all the females in his home.
this man.
he is amazing.

and together, he and i,
we grow and we learn.

i love you.
daddy of my children,
calmer of my fears,
protector of our family.

i am giddy at the thought of what is to come.

because if we could do all of this in just 4 short years??
oh, babe...
eternity looks pretty darn good.

i love you.
happy anniversary.