big belly mama

 

well here she be.
 this may be the first belly shot i have taken this whole pregnancy. i just haven't been feeling it. third trimester has not been good to me. for example... i didn't get dressed and ready today until 5 pm. then i had dustin take a picture of me because i thought it was note worthy. i already feel like getting back in pajamas.
also... gus is still really cute.
 

this is what the nursery looks likes. it may look like this even after miss's arrival date.
who has the energy? pintrest may just not be the best thing for me.

and just incase you forgot... here i am one more time. 

i've started wearing maternity clothes. not because i haven't needed too.. but more because i was too lazy to. i know.. i know. but let me just bare my testimony of such blessed, beautiful things. see that shirt? if fits. incredible! 

here's to the expanding me

christmas in march

why are you acting offended by this? it's completely within my realm of normalcy to get around to things 3 months behind schedule.
 hello. you knew what i was when you picked me up.
awkward.
 well now that is out of the way.
let's remember Christmas 2011..



isn't this is a sweet picture of bramma and her grandbabies?
we spent our usual christmas eve with dustin's family and as usual it didn't disappoint.



cute cousins waiting for presents. i like the christmas tradition on dustin's side.
my girls love these boys.
really, they do.

 
treats for santa.



good news: he came.
bad news: my tree lights never make a full season.

 

mcnuggets sure were happy to find their loot awaiting them.
do you also love their peignoir night gowns? i was dead set this year on finding them. i grew up wearing them and never could quite get over the novelty of having a lacy matching dressing robe and gown. turns out neither can my girls.
poppy in her usual fashion, was up about 100 times (it seemed) during the night. she was so very careful  to make sure she arrived at our door fully robed each awakening. even through my frustration i knew she was dang cute. christmas will do that to you.



the pink guitar.
it's popularity lasted all of about 12 hours.



and the beloved "dancing baby".
 this was minie's golden item. she has wanted it since her birthday in July.
i have been against it since then.
isn't it a dumb doll? she has weird jointed knees and wobbles side to side in a very jerky manner to the beat of a VERY obnoxious personalized dancing baby song.
yuck.
why does santa come through with these things?


so there.
there is my christmas update. this post has been weighing on my mind for literally months .
you see.. other than these few snaps you're currently viewing, the end of december was not a good one.
it was always forecasted to be crazy. normal christmas crazy, pregnancy.. and we decided to move. big deal.
but worse and genuinely most difficult of it all was the death of my sweetest, so loved, so beautiful grandma Billie.

her health had turned, and we knew this was on the horizon. but her passing on christmas eve felt like an unsuspected slap to the face. dustin and i were literally out the door to visit her when i received the phone call she had passed. all of the sudden a gigantic hole was in my life. she had always been there.

this amazing and strong matriarch of the family. and then she was gone.

i haven't really known how to express what i feel. i am one of 6 children. we all feel her loss immensely. after her memorial i had no unique inspirations or memories. my own thoughts were all echos of everyone who loved and knew her. so i just have said nothing. how can i say anything?

 but it feels wrong because i love her so much. she was so much to me. everyday.

and life still moves forward. that is always constant. 

and for that.. after some contemplating.. i am so thankful. 

my life is happy, and blessed.

so i end this post with just one thing i want to always be remembered and jotted down. one thing that feels good enough. 

one i hope all who ever may read this silly blog remembers.

not the nightgowns, 

not the presents,

not the tree...

Grandma Billie... I love you.

so very much.

pregnancy post

it is 4:30 AM .

 my internal clock thinks it's a good time to be wide awake. my logical self knows this is just down right offensive. i know that much pain and impatience is only in my future, and well, i guess that's just how the cookie crumbles. 

*siiigh*

i suppose it works really. this blog needed updating.. i needed to somehow publicly document i am actually pregnant with our third bean. our third bean, that is not so much like a bean anymore but a watermelon. a watermelon who prefers to reside so very low in my nether regions i have now started peeing (no... really) every time i sneeze, laugh too hard, or cough.  

HOT

did i also mention that this little watermelon is a GIRL??? 

that's right. our third girl in a row. 

wow.

this is a truth blog... and honestly when i got that news (waaay back in october mind you) i cried. just a little. at 15 weeks it was still early. but at 15 weeks i was already head over hills in love with the babe growing in me. but a third girl? really?

although i knew very intellectually this was an extremely likely scenario, i still was flummoxed.

i thought for sure we were having a son. i cried those very few tears for the mini-dustin i would never get

(hello... have you seen minie lately? that one is already covered), and a tear or two was shed for just the general lack of snips, and snails, and puppy dog tails.

it was all really tragic. i know.

how NOT fun is it going to be to raise sisters?

how NOT cute are baby girl clothes.... even the third time around?

how NOT sweet is it to watch a Daddy be completely whooped by his own little chickens?

i give you full permission to want to slap me for my moment of self and FALSE pity.

because really.. i now just am head over heels in love with this new baby girl growing so quickly in my very large and stretch marked belly. i can't wait to hold her in my arms. i simply CANNOT wait to see who she looks most like and i cannot wait to sit back and watch her big sisters experience this for this first time. believe you me. she is VERY wanted in this estrogen engulfed home. bring it on. we are ready jackson diva number 3. we literally cannot wait.

while on the topic of honesty....

pregnancy #3 has kicked my wide hip, child bearin', toosh. 

i am so freaking comatose 90% of the time. tired doesn't even begin to touch on it folks. 

however sleepy i may feel though,

this gestation is flying by.

i'm shocked that i only have 6 weeks left. say whaa?

i used to think i was a really good pregnant person.

barefoot and pregnant... that's me!

or maybe not.

so, so, so not.

i whine. my back kills, i look WWHUGE, my head hurts... and i walk like an old woman.

sexy, yes?

i'm sure dustin shares mutal feelings.

but what can one do? i am savoring this all. good, bad, and ugly.

being pregnant is the most amazing thing. 

ever.

 it really does make me quite awe struck... 

seeing this babe

swim around my swollen belly even if its for the third time, floors me. 

it's incredible.

so despite my complaints.. and despite my lack of documenting it.

i am pretty blissfully excited.

because yet again.

wow.

ps.

any name suggestions?

we're are stumped.

happy valentine's day

we've spent the morning eating chocolate and candy.
10:15 AM and we are already done with our sugar rush
and ready for a nap.

these children of mine are crazy indeed.
but are without a doubt my best valentine's.
xo

we had a party

 

well here we meet again. how convenient.
see that cute little tootse above? she was celebrated when she turned 3...three months ago. but it was photo documented and actually honored on her very day. she's too cute to do otherwise. plus, some of these have the last pictures of her before the dreaded hair.cut.by.minie shenanigan. so all in all this is a very happy post :) 

what's a birthday without jammie present time and a breakfast spread dedicated just to you? 

 

why it's no birthday at all. 

*please note that i make a very delectable hot breakfast. however, cold sugar cereal always trumps me in the end. the nerve.

and then it was time for the official throw down. 

hello kitty my little pet? 

why, yes please. 

 

these were cute, easy, and cheap to make. 

 

table-scape. sandra lee would be so proud.

face painting capped the day just right. there were what seemed to be a million children, candle blowing, and even more present opening. but these were all i got. deal with it... :) but as always, our very own tootie ta is worth every birthday wish in the world and i personally could not adore her more. so far 3 has been good.

do you see what i see?

that's correct. 

this is an update. well.. more like a catch up if we are feeling technical. whatevs.

but don't you go jumping that gun and be impressed. because alas...we starting back at thanksgiving.

gross. i know. and truly i am nearly bursting trying to withhold all the info i've been keeping from the general public. i know you've all been dying for some updates. but alas, this blog also serves as my only journal.. so i feel i gots to be keeping it real.

but in the nearish future just be prepared for a gender reveal (official of course), baby name options, family, christmas, AND a move. woot, woot!

but back to thanksgiving. this year was exceptional. we kept it small, and by that i mean my parents only hosted immediate family. this has NEVER been the case. turns out... we aren't so small anymore. there were 24 of us total and that wasn't even everyone. we're all taking that whole multiply and replenish thing seriously. what can you do?

highlights of the day in no particular order were:

dustin's turkey,

sleeping in,

some serious sister time,

my mother's craft table for the kids,

paige's gender reveal,

and just the over all family togetherness.

i'm related to some immensely wonderful people. my own little family not excluded. 2011 has come and gone... and it brought so much to be thankful for.

 

   

   

   

   

   

    

   

happy thanksgiving!!

my birthday girl

happy birthday my poppy louise.
you've changed me. every morning you make everything seem a little brighter. i could have
never possibly imagined you.. ever.  there is no other person who even comes close. i adore you.
you make me cry, you make me laugh, you make excited, and make me scared. you love soo deeply and can cry (still) so loud. you say funny things, and are way too smart for such a little girl. on any given day i can have this amazing moment with you. life will be crazy, i will be rushing, you will be so naughty. incessantly you will yell, "mom, mom, MOM!!" finally i answer... "yes, poppy?" and all you say is " i love you".  how can i ever end a day unhappy with that? you randomly give anyone you love a kiss, just out of the blue when we might pass your way. sometimes you get a leg, sometimes a hand, sometimes a dog ear. you can't help it. you are just one big, big, BIG ball of everything. it can't be helped. you simply will always be the most contagious part of it all.

my darling baby... you will always be mine. you will always be adored.
we simply cannot imagine a life with out a shred of you.
i love you forever.

happy third birthday.

xo,

mama