the poppy walk

that's right.
we are now a household full of walkers.
it feels nice.. and just the tiniest bit sad.
i've found this to be the case with almost every milestone i reach with my children. i've been dying for poppy to walk for months now. she has been on the brink of it since November and finally last week she just stood up and took off. as that darling little smoosh plunkered off with out me, my heart broke just a little. just like that she is a toddler.. not a baby any more. and that is sad. isn't it?
however,that waddling little diaper bum sure is scrumptious. i missed out on minie's first steps. she literally started walking the day poppy was born. i watched a few wobbly steps from my hospital bed.. and then all of the sudden fast forward 3 weeks after i was done with narcotics, my mom's help, and some intense sleep deprivation i actually woke up and had this little toddling big girl. and as silly as it sounds i felt horrified i wasn't really a part of that gigantic transition in her short life.
needless to say i am thoroughly enjoying my littlest lady's new talent. she and minie all of the sudden play together. minie loves to chase her around and around the couch, and poppy loves to be chased. they are quite the pair those girls..
*sigh*...
i just love my family.

have you read about bronson ?
kennan found his tragic story through a friend's blog, and had asked, as i do too to round up any and all prayers for this little man.
i can't explain it.. but the whole story has really affected me. i check for updates several times a day, and almost always have him and his family in my mind.
perhaps it is because he is poppy's exact age.. and his older brother is minie's exact age.
perhaps it's because i know this could very well happen to me.
too many times i have slipped out of the bathroom while the girls were bathing to attend to something or other "real quick".

i don't know... but i really just want him to be okay. it gives me hope as a parent, for some reason i can't really pin point.
all i know is that my girls have been given many extra squeezes, loves, and a much more attentive mother. we are so blessed to have healthy children. i literally cannot fathom my life without either one of them. they are the reason i exist.
just give your babies all the loves you can muster.

being a parent is incredible.
i love watching my babies grow.
i love the looks on their faces when the discover something new.
a lot of the time the job is really hard..
but more often it is just really, really, REALLY wonderful.

sometimes that fact gets lost..
but tonight it is all that is on my mind.
and i will try all i can to make it stay.

xo,
brooke

to this man,

you are the love of my life,
and
you wear 29 so well.

happiest birthday my hub.
i love you.

maternity

literally an hour before paige's flight left we hurry quick and snapped these.
not bad for an impromptu photo shoot, eh?

i love baby bellies.

She's having a baby

today was paigey's baby shower.
all week i have been prepping.. attempting sewing a baby something or other, testing out my new Cricut, and coordinating details with my mom and sisters.

i have been thrilled from the get-go with her news, but it wasn't until this week, in midst of all the sewing and crafting specifically for baby B that i realized how truly excited i am.
paige and have always been close. although different in almost every way, we just get each other.
we are only 15 months apart , and from a very small age we have shared everything together.
almost.
i suppose i didn't even realize something was missing until these past few days.
finally we get to be mothers together.
and it is SO fun.
she is going to be an excellent mother. her perfectionist attitude is going to throw my own mothering skills to shame.. and well, this baby boy is one lucky little man.

it was a joy celebrating his soon to be arrival.

cute pregnant sister.

the most delicious cupcakes.
ever.
and my mom made them from scratch.

she also whipped up this amazing crib bedding as well.
yes, she is just kind of amazing like that.

my new Cricut creations.
those machines are amazing.
and i don't even scrapbook.

me and pajama

i love you sister,
congratulations.
a million times over.
i can't wait!

swimmers

so upon even further thinking, i've decided i hate winter.
really, i don't like it.
i used to think i did...
but those were much crazier, childless days.
luckily we've discovered a smallish way to beat our seasonal depression..

swimming.

it's our own little taste of summer,
and it feels glorious to pretend those fluorescent pool lights are actual true sun rays.
really, minie makes it very convincing.

it also helps that target already has their delicious summer swimmers on SALE.
i mean, truly... this swimsuit?
pretty darn adORable,
right?

the babes go crazy, and CRASH afterward.
and NO,
there ain't nothing wrong with a 3+ hour nap.

however... this crazy plum may have our pool days limited.
she is insane in the water.
insane. like on crack cocaine insane
and it's probably a little questionable i attempt to watch and care for two babies alone in large bodies of water.

but did i mention how depressed we've been feeling??

i don't care how hard it is to dry and shower everyone up afterward, how cold it might feel outside, or how much i hate smelling like chlorine for days after.
it is well worth it and i'm not giving up my pool days.

feeling those winter blues?
i dare you to go swimming.
i'm just sayin'...

baby come back

well...

i fell off the blogging wagon for a bit. sometimes it's just too easy
january. i hate you.
who needs this gloomy, dingy, muggy weather anyway?
whose bright idea was it to place christmas RIGHT before this horrific time of year?
there is no gradual let down.
one minute holiday cheer,
the next ... depressing dragged out days of gray.
january.. bad, bad idea.

anyway.. that is where i've been.
wallowing in a my own form of self pity, just waiting for a fruitful happy moment to present itself.
luckily i live with to incredibly adorable children so i'm awarded lots of sunny spells in my gloom :)

i promise i will to try do better

you can blame it all on me.

xo

nigh night

where have i been?
feeling exhausted..somewhere other than this computer.


why did i think switching minie to a big girl bed was a good idea?
i had two perfectly perfect cribs, snug and reliable bed times, two babies that slept gloriously through the night, a luxurious pillow top king size bed just nice and cozy for me and my man, and a life that felt i was infact in charge of.

and then..
one silly decision on a random night of changing her crib sheets we thought the new change would be fun.
the excited leap of transferring our first born to her first real bed seemed just right.
and yet...
it all come crashing down.
my all of the sudden perfect sleeper was terror on wheels. she was like a jack in the box.. i lay her down, only to have her pop right back up, crying and pleading for me to stay with her. we tried locking her back in to the crib thinking we could just erase our silly little move.. but to no avail.. her new found independence had taught her Houdini like magic of escaping. the bars served no purpose other than the extreme discomfort of trying to hold her hand while she fell asleep. as soon as that glorious moment of slumber arrived i would creep out of her room.. only to wake up to her at my bed side mere hours later. eventually exhausted, and defeated after weeks of such behavior she then started just sleeping between me and dustin... and enough said.
you can use you imagination of the downward spiral that continued from there. naps and bedtimes??
i don't even know the meaning.

let me just say..
an exhausted life is no life at all.
everything is muddled, nothing feels in control..
and well.
there are a lot of tears.
a lot,
a lot,
a lot.

and tonight
well, i am nearly sobbing again,
because i finally have caught on to something that might actually be working.

i have tried so much..
locking her in (she screamed, and kicked, and then always puked)
we tried drug inducing sleep (not my proudest moment.. )
we spanked,
we warned,
we did it all..
and we fought a lot because we were both so tired, frustrated, and generally out of control of the entire situation.

and then by chance,
on one of my many desperate internet excursions for a solution,
THIS found it's way to me.
and i love it so dearly.
because it works.
3 nights in, and my minie has been in bed, out cold by 8:30 pm... she is sleeping through the night, and NAPPING again.
and i don't feel like i am torturing, abandoning, or scarring her life.
Dr. Weissbluth's methods feel logical, loving, and educated.
and, did i mention..
THEY ARE WORKING.

i realize this whole hallelujah post may seem a tad premature.. but these past 3 nights have been dream boat lovin.
our bed back to ourselves. a 30 minute bed-time routine vs. the previous near 2 hours it took to settle the girls in.
my happy girl,
and just the over-all sense
that I am in control.

:)

who knows...
tomorrow things may have fallen apart.
i may be crying again, and life could feel doomed
but tonight..
well tonight life feels good.

and after all...
this little bed head smoosh..
well, she's worth it.
always.

Christmasing about

as i'm sure most all of you have,

we've been busy.
but do you remember that Christmas is celebrated 2 days in a row in this family? 2 Christmas eves, two Christmas days, and 2 very long days of sleepless babes.
i'm not complaining..
but yessiree... it is heavy duty in this family.
and because of that i like to pretend i feel more tired than you all this week.
:)
does that work for you?

so onto some of the events...

let's see..

.santa came.
somehow, someway, despite many a hefty threat, minie waddled her way on to the nice list, and well poppy by default remains good and snug there at minimum, until her second birthday.
our house seems just the tiniest (largest) bit smaller now, and all the festivities, excitment, skipped naps, steady diet of cookies, candy canes, and whatever else this seemingly careless parent approved their children to ingest have left the girls ( and me)
with a lovely virus of some type or other.
truly though, i think almost everyone would agree it has been worth it.
Christmas really is magical.

.this was our first Christmas staying at our house and we loved it.
it was so incredibly fun waking up to our own tree with presents skirted about. minie was more than a little miffed that santa ate her cookies she left for him the night before.. but soon nearly forgot all, once she discovered the pony he left in lieu of the nibbled cookies.
that girl...
.poppy louise adores her new chair, and crawled right to it as soon as she made her way down the stairs. as long as she has that, she doesn't much mind when minie claims all the other gifts as her own,
and i am just trying to enjoy this probably one year that will be the case.
.dustin's parents spoil the girls rotten.
i'm pretty sure they way out did our own gift giving to the girls... and well.. i remind you yet again how limited the space in our home is now feeling.
.there was also lots of play time with cousins on both sides,
and i know that more than anything was the girl's favorite thing about this year.
my parent's house is a zoo when we all get together... add the christmas crazy to that mix,
and well... it's sheer chaos.
but i wouldn't have it any other way.

the following pictures are in no particular order. i had intentions of organizing something pretty, but then quickly realized i has close to 15 pictures to upload..
and well, this is what you get.
merry christmas

stole this from my mom's blog.
seems to be the only family shot we've had this entire holiday season.

aren't these cute cousins?

loving poppy's intense stink eye here..
goes to show she does actually mind minie's constant jabs, and steals.

"charlie boy" the pony.
lovingly named by mins herself.

note to self: forget big expensive gifts next year.
the $12.99 princess styling kit is all minie has really cared to play with.

somehow kennan always sneaks my camera and captures something truly beautiful.
christmas night produced this...
her right foot is the 8th wonder of the world.
obviously.

and *phew*...
were done.

it feels nice to be closing 2009. it has been a hard year. a growing year.
i think i feel a stop to some of those growing pains,
and i anxiously await the arrival of 2010.
yet, i still feel like i can close this year with a smile.
and i am grateful.

better late than never..

we actually also celebrated thanksgiving...

this post seems a bit anti-climatic seeing as all the photos taken
look as though they could have been captured on any given day

but

they weren't.

and i promise,
i sometimes do actually appear in front of the camera...
just usually not my own.
this particular day i believe i ended up in front of robyn's. sure would be nice to see them.
{yes... that is a heavy suggestion robyn}

anyway,
happy thanksgiving
35 days late.