4 years of being mr + mrs. jackson

does that seem right? i swear it really, truly was just yesterday when we looked at each other and said yes. when i called to tell you i was running a little late, and you knew (even then..) that meant a lot late. the day we cried as we sat and were married and sealed for time and all eternity. the day all those silly photos were taken, the loooong, long luncheon and reception, the anxious and exciting drive up to park city afterwards.. the roses, the candles, the new husband and wife, both needing a benadryl due to the immense allergy attack we received after lavender was tossed (read: thrown..and hard) at our heads as we departed.
the gorgeous time we had in maui.
i loved you then,
and couldn't wait to start our already wonderful life together.

4 years doesn't sound like much.
and really it's not.

but it is.
so so much.
the pregnancies,
the losses,
the children,
the silliness,
the stress,
the fear,
the hope,
the comfort,
the endurance,
and the support.
somehow 4 seems much, much more.
and that boy i married those years ago?

he is gone.
you definitely won't find him here.

because a new man has taken his place by me.
always.
a man who knows me at my worse
and loves me at my worse.
a man who knows i must snack before bed, usually in bed. and is okay with it.
a man who doesn't feel threatened to watch my shows, and help out with my chores.
a man who is so adored by all the females in his home.
this man.
he is amazing.

and together, he and i,
we grow and we learn.

i love you.
daddy of my children,
calmer of my fears,
protector of our family.

i am giddy at the thought of what is to come.

because if we could do all of this in just 4 short years??
oh, babe...
eternity looks pretty darn good.

i love you.
happy anniversary.