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well, let's talk about it.
this boy is amazing.
i just got back from a 3 day stay with him and...
i am in love.

shall we rewind a little bit??
i've been spoiled rotten. three weekends in a row i have been out of town. wait.. let me rephrase. 3 weekends in a row i have been out of town childless. i know... i told you i was spoiled.

re-cap:
first my darling husband whisked me off for a birthday trip to vegas. after a weekend full of shopping, eating, sleeping, and massages i came home for a mere 4 days, only to leave again the following thursday for st.george. my sisters and mom had a sewing weekend and it was fabulous. a bit of a whirlwind.. but so, so fun. we stayed at robyn's awesomest in-laws home (thanks you Mitchells) , that came equipped with pool and hot tub. it was lovely. we stayed up {way too} late sewing, talking, laughing, and eating. doesn't that sound sublime?? it was.. so much so that i only took two pictures..

at least it was documented.
i will {eventually} take pictures of my darlings in their new home-made creations.
stay tuned.

AND then...
he was born.

monday march 22, 2010.
is he perfect, or is he perfect???

my ever so ah-maz-ing hub let me leave yet again to go visit this little man and his mama.
he is divine.
i spent nearly 3 days squishing his little face off.. and fine... he made me just the teeny, tinest baby hungry :) .
i love other people's newborns. paige is this incredible mama, who somehow is handling the whole new-mother thing like a pro. it makes me just a little jealous.. because i know 1 week in with both girls i was everything short of a disaster. but no surprises there really.. we all knew she was going to rock the whole motherhood thing.

and so now i am home.
it feels nice, and i really missed my family. i feel rejuvenated, and loved, and very blessed.
dustin gets husband of the year award. he {mostly} happily sent me off two weekends in a row, and fended for himself. both weekends he cleaned the house from top to bottom, kept up with laundry, took the girls on outings to the aquarium, jungle jims, McDonalds, and park, AND dealt with their stomach flu this past weekend.
he is my hero.. and fine.. is putting me to shame just a bit.
love you my man.

hope you all are enjoying brig as much as i do.
he is delicious.

xoxo,
brooke

st. pattys and the farm

it didn't feel right to not do something on this springish holiday, so off to the farm we went.
truth be told, minie over-heard me telling some friends we should plan a day to go in the next couple of weeks and then got it in her mind we were headed there immediately.

it's been a while since we've been, so i didn't much mind it.
this season is not complete without several trips to see those moo boys.
so i say anyway...

i adore this one.
here she is, in all her poppy self.
yep.. that is her on-demand smile.
live it, love it, learn it.

my girl.

this little pet is near to impossible to snap a picture of.
she WILL not hold still.
thank the heavens for a zoom.

looking for "budgs".

oh poppy...
dustin in known in his family for a signature childhood move known as "the flop".
it's essentially an immense temper tantrum that results in an immediate dramatized collapse to the ground below.
{un}fortunately poppy has inherited this lovely trait in all it's infamous glory.
she however has added some new tricks and throws in a good round of convulsing, rolling, and kicking.
this particular show was because i told her we needed to put her bow back in.
lovely.

somehow we've become a family..
that hits me every once and a while,
and well..
i like it alot.
:)

happy march 17th..
and my mad skillz of blogging!


two days in a row..
hoot, hoot!

my favorite things about the last 4 days are the following...

the spring display at the Bellagio.
there is a reason i named my daughter after such a spunky flower.
don't they remind you of her?
she was always destined to be my poppy.

this book.
fabulous.
it has consumed me the past 3 days.
i loved it. it was one of those candy reads.. and a great reminder of why i don't read as often as i would like. i am the world's worst mom/wife.. nothing gets done, and
also..
it has me thinking in southern maid slang...
saying things like,

thing gone be my fav'rit 'otel theres is out there.

lame?? yes... but i can't help it.
and... it's true.
the Bellagio is my favorite.
whose isn't it?

60 degree weather and park days..
*sigh*
finally they are arriving.
even if it is just for a minute.

and of course..
these baby girls.

it's good to have favorites :)

what about it?

i know. this blog is being neglected. and i hate it. really, truly, honestly i do. every day the guilt gnaws at me just a tad bit more, so here i am updating with not really much to inform.

i don't know. i have just felt a little blaw. here is the big (or not so big.. you be the judge) surprise. i fight clinical depression. it's a mild case.. nothing earth shattering, and nothing debilitating to my life. but i do.
it hasn't always been the case.... i generally like to describe myself as an optimistic, happy-go-lucky type of gal. in fact, i sort of pride myself on being this person, and feel like i do a pretty good job of being that girl about 80% of the time. i guess just as i have gotten older, gotten a little more "life" under my belt, tried my hand at this adult thingy, things get me down.. lower than what i am told to be normal, and then i get a fist full on anxiety to boot.. and well, i'm one scary mama, and an even scarier wife. this has been going on since poppy's birth... and trust me my sweet baby love, this has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with hormones, and genetcis. you are joy. sunshine, happy, and perfect all wrapped in one. YOU could never bring me down.
anyway, 9 months postpartum after the norm of "baby blues" didn't go away, and those darn anti-depressant commercials seemed to be playing my life out in form of commercial before my eyes, i got help. and LUCKILY (or not so lucky i suppose), i have a huge support system. you see depression runs in the family.. rampant really. once i got past the initial frustration of admitting i actually was struggling, it felt so good to talk about it with my mom(s) (both sets :) ), sisters, friends, husband and know they understood. know they didn't judge me or look down at me.
and well.. now, 1 zoloft a day keeps the scary away.
mostly. sometimes i still feel just.. down. uninspired, bored, exhausted, nervous, and generally just yuck. but then i go and thumb through that one special adult dictionary and realize that is just the definition under "mom". there are others there too... you know. the good ones that keep us all going at this thing. and i guess that is just the point.
sometimes life isn't all rosy and perfect. and it also isn't all doom and gloom... it's just life.. a tad boring. expected, and unexpected all at once.
i know this is no earth shattering epiphany. i am like number 27,500,056 when it comes to originality on this whole speal.. but this is my blog after all,
so it feels like i am number 1.

anyway.. there was a really long explanation to where i have been. on the downward swing of things. i have hardly picked up my camera, and i hurt all over a little bit because of this. i'm not really sure what happened there. but i miss it. i miss taking pictures of my kids.. miss hunting down the good light.. just generally miss it. the poopy thing about photography is that just like anything else you have to work for it. long gone are the days that i feel like i can just pick up a camera and snap. my brain doesn't function that way anymore. i feel like i need to work out my angle, get the decent light, capture the emotion, AND somehow have decent eye-contact with my toddler subjects. and if i somehow acheive all that.. then it's on to photoshop. which i have a serious love-hate relationship with. why does is have to make my photos look so much cooler? why does it have to be so simple, and then so complicated, and then FOUR hours later produce what i love? i'm telling you.. it's work. a lot of it. albeit enjoyable. so i do intend to pick that up again. stay tuned.

the silly thing about all of this, is that however dull life my seem, i do have so much to tell.
i am so in love with my girls. they change so much every day, and i promise you, are the most adorable things this side of the Mississippi. poppy is just flat out, DELISH. seriously, the girl melts me. she has this raspy, little voice that just chirps around the house all day long. ALWAYS sports a head full of crazy hair, and has the worlds silliest teeth. i'm in love.
minie is a little devil. but the cutest little michief, so as you may guess, gets a way with murder. remember all of those things you tell yourself you will NEVER do when you are a parent? oh, that's right.. i do them all.. and then some. me says get yourself a 2 year old, and then we'll talk.

i don't know.. i wish i could write all of the little things i adore so much.. but as par for course, time is limited, and my brain feels like mush. but i want to do better. i will do better.
after a quick visit to my 89 year old Grandma today, i of course walked away feeling the need to better myself. Johnnie Belle has always been one to be in-tune with the spirit, but i swear-to-you -dammit .. the older that woman gets, the veil gets thinner and thinner. most quotes from her are pretty much directly from God himself... so when she told me today, "brooke.. you must write it all down. you must remember it somehow. it is all important." i took it more than just a subtle hint.

i hope this is isn't too depressing. i realize i just blog vomited all about.. but that's what happens when you hold it in. one big, long boring post, and NO photos.
i apologize.

hopefully i can take this blog by the reins and keep it interesting.

until then,

xo

brooke

ps.
tomorrow is my birthday. :)
i will 24. that sounds really young, but feels really old.
like perhaps a 4 in lieu of the 2 is more appropriate? i don't know...
however, i do know our childless weekend in Vegas may change that.
we shall see.
happy birthday to me!