maternity

literally an hour before paige's flight left we hurry quick and snapped these.
not bad for an impromptu photo shoot, eh?

i love baby bellies.

She's having a baby

today was paigey's baby shower.
all week i have been prepping.. attempting sewing a baby something or other, testing out my new Cricut, and coordinating details with my mom and sisters.

i have been thrilled from the get-go with her news, but it wasn't until this week, in midst of all the sewing and crafting specifically for baby B that i realized how truly excited i am.
paige and have always been close. although different in almost every way, we just get each other.
we are only 15 months apart , and from a very small age we have shared everything together.
almost.
i suppose i didn't even realize something was missing until these past few days.
finally we get to be mothers together.
and it is SO fun.
she is going to be an excellent mother. her perfectionist attitude is going to throw my own mothering skills to shame.. and well, this baby boy is one lucky little man.

it was a joy celebrating his soon to be arrival.

cute pregnant sister.

the most delicious cupcakes.
ever.
and my mom made them from scratch.

she also whipped up this amazing crib bedding as well.
yes, she is just kind of amazing like that.

my new Cricut creations.
those machines are amazing.
and i don't even scrapbook.

me and pajama

i love you sister,
congratulations.
a million times over.
i can't wait!

swimmers

so upon even further thinking, i've decided i hate winter.
really, i don't like it.
i used to think i did...
but those were much crazier, childless days.
luckily we've discovered a smallish way to beat our seasonal depression..

swimming.

it's our own little taste of summer,
and it feels glorious to pretend those fluorescent pool lights are actual true sun rays.
really, minie makes it very convincing.

it also helps that target already has their delicious summer swimmers on SALE.
i mean, truly... this swimsuit?
pretty darn adORable,
right?

the babes go crazy, and CRASH afterward.
and NO,
there ain't nothing wrong with a 3+ hour nap.

however... this crazy plum may have our pool days limited.
she is insane in the water.
insane. like on crack cocaine insane
and it's probably a little questionable i attempt to watch and care for two babies alone in large bodies of water.

but did i mention how depressed we've been feeling??

i don't care how hard it is to dry and shower everyone up afterward, how cold it might feel outside, or how much i hate smelling like chlorine for days after.
it is well worth it and i'm not giving up my pool days.

feeling those winter blues?
i dare you to go swimming.
i'm just sayin'...

baby come back

well...

i fell off the blogging wagon for a bit. sometimes it's just too easy
january. i hate you.
who needs this gloomy, dingy, muggy weather anyway?
whose bright idea was it to place christmas RIGHT before this horrific time of year?
there is no gradual let down.
one minute holiday cheer,
the next ... depressing dragged out days of gray.
january.. bad, bad idea.

anyway.. that is where i've been.
wallowing in a my own form of self pity, just waiting for a fruitful happy moment to present itself.
luckily i live with to incredibly adorable children so i'm awarded lots of sunny spells in my gloom :)

i promise i will to try do better

you can blame it all on me.

xo

nigh night

where have i been?
feeling exhausted..somewhere other than this computer.


why did i think switching minie to a big girl bed was a good idea?
i had two perfectly perfect cribs, snug and reliable bed times, two babies that slept gloriously through the night, a luxurious pillow top king size bed just nice and cozy for me and my man, and a life that felt i was infact in charge of.

and then..
one silly decision on a random night of changing her crib sheets we thought the new change would be fun.
the excited leap of transferring our first born to her first real bed seemed just right.
and yet...
it all come crashing down.
my all of the sudden perfect sleeper was terror on wheels. she was like a jack in the box.. i lay her down, only to have her pop right back up, crying and pleading for me to stay with her. we tried locking her back in to the crib thinking we could just erase our silly little move.. but to no avail.. her new found independence had taught her Houdini like magic of escaping. the bars served no purpose other than the extreme discomfort of trying to hold her hand while she fell asleep. as soon as that glorious moment of slumber arrived i would creep out of her room.. only to wake up to her at my bed side mere hours later. eventually exhausted, and defeated after weeks of such behavior she then started just sleeping between me and dustin... and enough said.
you can use you imagination of the downward spiral that continued from there. naps and bedtimes??
i don't even know the meaning.

let me just say..
an exhausted life is no life at all.
everything is muddled, nothing feels in control..
and well.
there are a lot of tears.
a lot,
a lot,
a lot.

and tonight
well, i am nearly sobbing again,
because i finally have caught on to something that might actually be working.

i have tried so much..
locking her in (she screamed, and kicked, and then always puked)
we tried drug inducing sleep (not my proudest moment.. )
we spanked,
we warned,
we did it all..
and we fought a lot because we were both so tired, frustrated, and generally out of control of the entire situation.

and then by chance,
on one of my many desperate internet excursions for a solution,
THIS found it's way to me.
and i love it so dearly.
because it works.
3 nights in, and my minie has been in bed, out cold by 8:30 pm... she is sleeping through the night, and NAPPING again.
and i don't feel like i am torturing, abandoning, or scarring her life.
Dr. Weissbluth's methods feel logical, loving, and educated.
and, did i mention..
THEY ARE WORKING.

i realize this whole hallelujah post may seem a tad premature.. but these past 3 nights have been dream boat lovin.
our bed back to ourselves. a 30 minute bed-time routine vs. the previous near 2 hours it took to settle the girls in.
my happy girl,
and just the over-all sense
that I am in control.

:)

who knows...
tomorrow things may have fallen apart.
i may be crying again, and life could feel doomed
but tonight..
well tonight life feels good.

and after all...
this little bed head smoosh..
well, she's worth it.
always.