grateful

this year i give thanks to much..

here are just a few in no particular order.

{my husband}

he is my best friend. i feel so grateful that i love his company above all. he is silly, and caring, and attentive and works so hard to provide everything for us.

{minie}

of course i am grateful for her.

she is my first born, my guide into motherhood. she pushes my buttons more than any other human being to date. but i adore her. i love that she is willing to try anything. she is quick to learn, and quick to please. i am so thankful for her laugh, and her silly games. as mad as i can be she always makes me smile... hearing "soowwy mama" from her lips is nothing short of perfect. she makes everything exciting in our lives, and my heart cannot hold the amount of love i have for her.

{poppy}

she is my sweet spot. i cannot think of her without feeling that familiar pang in my heart. she loves to be loved. she will melt in your arms... and she loves me. she always wants me. she's unhappy when i leave a room, and cries if i happen to walk past without picking her up. she is loud, and silly, and so independent. but she knows what she wants and she goes for it. i am so grateful for her coy little grin, and her sweet baby noises. she is what made us a family for real. my dark haired cherub. i will never go a day without thanking the Lord for giving you to me.

{my parents}

i am so grateful for the home they always provide. there are six of us.. yet i know we all feel individually loved and secure. no matter what, i always know where i've come from. my parents, whether sick or well, rich or poor. they are always there. their love is constant and reassuring. and in my lowest moments i know they are there. i know they will love me. and because of that, i know i will be okay.

i am grateful for them. grateful for their never ending service. and grateful for their example.

{seasons}

i may complain, but i love our state.

i love the changing of the seasons. i often try to pin-point my favorite but as soon as i decide upon one, the sticky summer air grows a chill, the leaves begin to change, and the whole process starts itself over again. i will never grow old of seeing the world around me change. every season i enjoy more. every season my children grow more, i fall a bit more in love more with my husband, or i make it through that incredibly difficult time... worn down, but just a little bit stronger. i can map my life through the seasons.. and every time a new one arrives i can't help the excitement of what it may hold.

{the gospel}

i am grateful for my Lord, Jesus Christ.

i have never questioned His existence. i feel His love... His sacrifice.. always. i know He is my redeemer. i know that through Him, anything is possible.

i know this.

and i am grateful.

i am thankful everyday for the opportunity i have to live with my family, with Him again.

{food}

i love to eat.

bottom line.

i am so grateful for food.

i love the smells. i love the way it looks. i like to cook it, i like to watch it being cooked,

and i looove. to. eat. it.

my perfect date is centered around a scrumptious full course meal, that took a good amount of time to ingest. couple that with my hubby right along side me.. well...

let's just say it happens enough for me to feel VERY blessed.

:)

{my sisters}

they are my best friends.

i talk to at least one of them everyday, and most normally all of them.

i am grateful for my unique relationship with each of them. i love when we get together and just laugh. i love that we know each other so well, that we can finish each others sentences. we know each others faults, and we accept them.. we laugh at them.. we love them.

i love being a mother with them. we are in the trenches together, and i couldn't do it without them.

{tv}

yes. i love tv.

i am grateful for it.

i am grateful for it's company on those late nights i can't sleep.

grateful for the quick moment it allows me to shower each day by entertaining my children.

that hour each night before bed... i love it. it is one thing i can count on to help me unwind, forget, and escape for a moment.

what can i do?

just accept it i guess.

{my camera}

i love my camera. through it i have seen so much.

it has forced me to stop in those silly moments and hold them still forever.

i love looking at the photos it produces. so many of the times i don't even realize i am capturing what i have. i love that it allows me to see the people i love in a different way. it documents my feelings so much better than i could ever dream of explaining.

it has given me confidence... made me feel like i can make a difference. has given me a way to feel like i contribute. it gives me a creative release. it has helped me be strong when i couldn't... when families hearts are broken, it has helped me to give them something they won't ever be able to replace.

i have so much to be thankful for...

my cup runneth over.

i hope your day is a happy one,

and that you all get that lovely turkey day nap.

:)

happy thanksgiving

my chicken soup

{minie and her dancin' bad self}

we've been sick this week.

and by we, i mean me. but let's be honest...

when mama ain't happy ain't nobody happy.

so really it might as well be all of us.

we've left the house once in the past four days, and the TV is now officially the 5th member of our family. Playhouse Disney has gotten us through many a rough hour.

thank you mickey mouse.

another new favorite past time for minie is watching herself on my phone. after seeing video after video of this darling first born,

i decided they were too cute to not share.

in my snarling, sniffling , hacking state these have made me smile.

i'm banking on this nastiness being gone by the weekend,

here's to hoping

{singing a little Taylor Swift}

*ps.

please pay no mind to my barking in the background.

5 days straight of having no voice is not as fun as one would think.

minie and the princesses

isn't she delicious?

i know it's a bit of a faux pas admitting those feelings publicly about your own children...

but it's true. she is darling

yes... insanely frustrating a good hunk of the time

but really, really cute.

Grandma Ali, or Braamaa (as minie likes to call her) took me and mins for a girl's date out to the "princess show" friday afternoon.

i saw an add for the Disney's Princesses on Ice and told Alice about it. she immediately bought tickets and a big girl's afternoon out was planned. poppy had to take one for the team this year. her little one year old self just couldn't handle 2+ hours of sitting still.

obviously, minie was enchanted.

she sat the whole production through with excited outbursts of joy. she simply loves the princesses. specifically Belle. Alice bought her this dress a while back, and well... Belle is just the cats meow in this little lady's eyes. in minie lingo she is "Beeyell".. and it's quite adorable. anything fancy is belle-esque. nice jewelry, a dress, sparkly shoes. she despised having earrings changed in ears up until about 2 weeks ago when i told her they were special belle earrings. she'll wear anything if she thinks belle approves.. so yes, you can't imagine all the belle accessories that have suddenly popped up into our life... forget santa.. if she does something naughty belle wouldn't approve of... well she might as well put herself in time-out.

my smoosh..

braamaa promised her any gift she wanted from the shops that lined the halls. there were princesses galore. shoes, tiaras, wands, cups, shirts, dolls.. anything frilly, sparkly and girly. however, after a 2 second glance to the darkest forgotten corner of the display minie saw and KNEW what she had to have.

beast.

yes, mangy, ugly beast.

there was no deterring.

who is this girl?

as soon as he was placed in her arms, she snuggled, loved and twirled him circles. she asks for him first thing in the morning, and loves to remove his cape and inform us all that he is then the "naked beast!!!" appropriate?? probably not..

the girl is maybe a little crazy.

sadly my camera wasn't aloud past the security gates entering the arena.

something about professional cameras and Disney's copyrights...

blah.

the show was actually quite entertaining.

definitely better than the circus.

really, when does Disney ever do wrong?

needless to say, it was a glorious afternoon.

times like these make me relish in the fact that i have daughters.

minie has asked every day since to go back to the princess show.

thanks again Grandma

:)

celebrating our poppy love

i'm still a little shocked she's one.

we had her one year well child check today

and i promise you

it was just last week she was a tiny newborn going in for bilirubin tests.

*sigh*...

on the up side of things she comes in perfectly average for all her measurements, and is a glowing, healthy, smooshy, busy busy 1 year old.

she's our right kind of perfect.

we enjoy her. i mean, really enjoy her.

if you can believe it i think deep down we are grasping at any babyhood that might be left in our small house,

and happily she is there to oblige all our needs.

sissy lou.. we love you.

i love throwing big birthday bashes. i just do.

they are lots of work, and yes i do realize the girls will probably never remember them.

but i like it.. and at the moment they seem to as well.

so.. yes. i'm done explaining myself to you all.

these pictures have no rhyme or reason. just my girl at her first birthday party...

presents,

singing,

food,

bouncing,

and

balloons..

oh my.

the prized gift.

conveniently minie has also acquired a whole new slew of toys.

it scares me a tad that at 1 and 2 they already scream {loudly} and scratch each other over who gets what when.

happy birthday poppy..

all over again.

xoxo my tiny stink

happy birthday

then...

now.

my poppy louise,

today you are one year old. you are the sweet spot of our family. no one can resist your crooked grin and sparkling eyes.

you are beautiful. every time we are out someone will stop us to tell us that. you bring so much joy to our lives... the first time i held you i was in awe. you looked nothing like i expected. you were foreign and i felt like i didn't know how to be your mom. but with you i grew. i have such a special love for you my baby girl. you demand my attention.. and i adore that. never have you been left in the background.. you have always made sure we know you are here. never has a baby cried so loud, so quick. miss zero to sixty. but we don't mind.. because the minute you are scooped up, you shower us with cuddles and coos and smiles. oh, miss louise. you melt us all.

your sister loves you most. when i see you two together, i know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you were always meant to be together. who was i to ever question having you so close? you live to see your minie every day, and she lives to see you.

you are a mover and a shaker.. you want to be in the thick of it all. holding still for a diaper change is something we have yet to witness. you can squirm out of any situation. you hate wearing bows and are constantly tugging at your hair. you giggle when i wrestle to put them in, and drop them to floor with a grin. you little stinker :)

i love being your mom. i love the peace you bring to our family. the beauty, the noise, the completeness. 1 year ago today it all began. it was a blink of an eye, a quick moment, and you were here. how a year has come some quickly i can't fathom.. i want to slow it down, and gobble up every millisecond i have with you. i know my life will always be bright with you in it.

i love you to the moon. thank you for coming to me.

happy birthday my baby girl.

xoxo,

mama

our halloween

was your halloween as grand as ours was this year?

i can't hardly believe it has already come and gone, and as i sit hear working my way through the girls candy bags

i feel a bit shell shocked really.

and not just because this season has flown by (which it has)

but because this whole YEAR has flown by. remember last year?

remember how i was hugely pregnant,

and minie was an only child dressed as an adorable piglet?

how on earth did she manage without her always there side-kick?

her partner in crime, her forever favorite clothing matcher?

it truly is quite unimaginable,

and we all couldn't be more grateful for our darling matching pair of purple kitties.

we spent our evening at the gregory's. our neighborhood is a little hit and miss seeing as we live in the more industrial side of town, so quite frankly their hood was perfect. their street was quite festively lined with trick-or-treaters, blow up ghosts, carved pumpkins, and of course our beloved greg's.

traditionally we trek it down to nannie's for the night for some tasty billie chili and a nannie spectacular halloween bash.

however, this year my mom was a lot under the weather due to unexpected knee surgery, so us kids had to fend for ourselves. it actually felt quite adultish, and a bit off seeing as it was the first time spending the holiday way from Hidden Oaks..

but we still managed quite nicely.

:)

here is minie giving you her best "meow cat" face.

i had a lot of fun getting their costumes ready this year.

minie was by my side every step of the way

and she has never been more excited to wear something.

let's face it..

she rocked the purple cat.

my sweetest kitty... miss poppy louise.

the trick-or-treaters.

minie was a star when it came to running from door to door.

when everyone else was ready to call it a night

she was still begging for more,

and was practically dragging her candy laden bag up and down the streets.

pops and grets.

they were both totally fine with their one sucker and leisure ride from house to house.

can't really say i blame them...

and then it got dark and cold and was time to call it a night.

i've said it before,

i'll say it again..

i love this holiday.

i love my kids for making it all fun again,

and i love having my family so close to celebrate it with.

happy halloween.

up and up

10 days later and missy moo's bruises are nearly all but gone.

and much thanks to some darling bangs, the black and blue (and yellow) stayed well hidden for the most part.

hooray to small victories

:)

so yes, things are on the up and up.. in general.

and it feels pretty nice.

yes,

i still am running around like a crazy person,

and yes, minie escapes from bed every night with her new found independence found in the big girl bed.

poppy still crawls and destroys around like a little gremlin.

the house still remains untidy, and a tad ragged around the edges.

photography is busy as ever, and i am still behind as ever..

dustin even started working saturdays.

but despite all of that crazy, life still feels up.

and i am grateful.

grateful for this season,

grateful for my family,

grateful for our so far good health.

grateful for the gospel.

grateful for therapeutic target runs.

yummy home cooked meals.

and most grateful for feeling hopeful.

hopeful and faithful that this feeling will stay.

and it's even 1:57 AM.

:)

hope this post spreads a little of the love.

xo,

brooke

wo is me

and her.

(more on this later...)

be prepared because this post is going to be one gigantic pity party.

yesterday..

oh yesterday.

the day started way too early. minie was up and at em' with the sun and was in particular form. the kitchen somehow morphed into an impressive disaster during breakfast, and neither daughter was too jazzed about getting dressed for the day. poppy is a tiny maniac these days who won't hold still for nothin' and thinks its hilarious she can squirm and crawl out of any situation. she's caught on to the advantage of a 16 month age gap, and has turned into to a wicked little child.

before you judge and think that is too harsh.. just read on.

somewhere in my over tired brain i thought the 10:30 story time at the library clear across the valley sounded like a good idea, so add rush mode to my already challenged morning, and well.. it just gets worse.

running about 10 minutes behind i fumbled out the door with poppy. we have a loading routine the starts with taking poppy to her seat first while minie waits at the window, and then back to the house for mins and it's her turn. this usually runs quite smoothly, and i truly believed i had it down pat. but as par for course poppy would not hold still. in attempt to occupy her while i sneakily buckled her in i gave her the car keys to play with. about 10 seconds into that i decided it actually wasn't such a good idea, what with flu season in mind and all, and i tossed them to the passenger seat while i finished the task at hand.  she was buckled, binkied, and rhett to go. i shut the door, and then went for the handle of my door to start the car. one big, slightly exaggerated yank , and then...

nothing.

panicking, pulling, pulling, pulling.

nothing. 

i was locked out,

poppy was locked in

awesome.

to save you countless words of reading i am just going to sum up the next 5 minutes into two words..

 irrational, distress.

i paced, i called her father, i screamed, i knocked, i rummaged, i cried ( just a little), and

then kennan finally saved the day and called to inform me the cops were on their way.

i was relieved, and slightly scared. cops scare me, and locking your baby in the car just didn't shed me in the best light.

well...10 minutes, two cop cars, 4 police officers, AND a fire truck full of paramedics later the car was finally open. poppy never even made a fuss the entire time, and i am pretty sure had a nice little snooze while waiting. that didn't stop the officers from giving me a firm talking too though, and as i sheepishly drove away (yes.. thats right.. i still tried to make story time) i couldn't help but feel somewhat criminal-esque.

after meeting up with kennan and sneaking the kids into the registered story time that we weren't actually supposed to be at, we decided lunch and a target run sounded dreamy. lunch miraculously went very well considering we went some place fancy ( cafe rio is as fancy as you get when there are 4 babies to 2 adults). the generally drama-free lunch gave us incorrect confidence and we decided to hoof it on over to target. we loaded the kids in carts and had made it as far as the dollar section, when all of the sudden minie decided to go cart diving, and head planted (very hard.. like disgusting cracking noise hard) to the tile below. she landed in an awkward position, and immediately started screaming, and bruising. the fuss caught the attention of the Target manager and he and another official looking man urged us to fill out an incident report form. however, upon discovering minie was indeed riding in the front of the cart they specifically advise you to not put your children in, we were sent on our merry little way. minie wouldn't stop howling, and i figured it was a good thing as far as head injuries go, so i proceeded to the pharmacy for some children's motrin, and then a stroll down the halloween isle. nothing makes her happier normally. but alas, the screaming didn't stop so i finally threw in the towel and walked the length of the parking lot back to the car. as i was buckling minie into her car seat she all of the sudden stopped crying got this dazed look, and then her left eye starting wondering off apart from her right. and the she started crying again, and then would just stop and start falling asleep. i decided that wasn't normal, tried to keep her awake, and made a call to our pediatrician. after hearing her symptoms they advised we take a trip the ER. 

at this point i just had given up on the day producing anything but drama so off went with no complaint.

and OF COURSE as soon as we were in triage, minie was acting fit as a fiddle. intrigued with all the action going on, asking every nurse and doctor for a sticker, coloring, and giggling she was the poster child for a healthy 2 year old. by the time the doctor finally got to us, he gave me the paranoid mother look, and prescribed 45 minutes of "observation" time. after she colored her way through a cup of juice and some goldfish we were sent home. the doctor said her neurological exam was clean, she had no broken bones, and aside from an impressive goose egg she was fine. he told us she probably had had a minor concussion (what happened in the car) but that all was okay.

*sigh*

that girl...

after the ER, minie came home, walked herself to her bed, climbed in, and asked to go "nigh nights". i happily obliged, and when she woke up nearly hours later it was like nothing ever happened. she has been fine ever since, and it goes with out saying how thrilled we all were when dustin came home from school an hour earlier than normal. i happily let him bathe and put the babies to bed. 

tuesday, october 13th 2009..

it sorely needed to end.

so as the old saying goes..

when it rains it pours.

i'm still not fully recovered. my darn luck seems to be lingering.

today i woke up feeling sick, and extremely, extremely tired. the girls and i didn't leave once. as soon as dustin got home i had a photo shoot to be to, and after being stuck in traffic for 30 minutes, meeting up with the family, and fighting for the fading light, i discovered my camera had no battery in it. realistically there was no way i could go home a retrieve it in enough time, so after this darling family had gone to the huge effort of dressing up and looking perfect we had to reschedule.

:(

once again Laura.. i am SO sorry. i know you said it was okay, but i still feel horrible.

anyway...

that's my party.

did you enjoy wallowing in my pity with me?

i can't say you weren't warned.

and now i am off to bed.

until next time, and i promise a better day

-brooke

trying to be festive

we also did this yesterday.

we payed $5 for 5 pumpkins,

minie got lost in the corn maze,

greta threw a gorgeous tantrum due to a stroller mishap,

kennan was a single mom,

poppy wore her new jacket that the jury is still out on,

and the weather was perfect.

i have no witty commentary. 

just a snap of these very cute kids.

i love them.

 all four of them.

away, away

isn't coming home from vacation the worst?

all the laundry, the messy house, the de-scheduled (yes.. that's a word  )children, the depression because the fun is all over.

 i hate it, and so far have done pretty good at ignoring it all.

but tomorrow is monday, and that day almost always seems to be a nice slap of reality.

poop.

i hate it.

last week wrapped up our favorite get-away. 

jackson hole.

between the chilly weather,

comfy sweats, conference talks, yummy treats, crafts, card games,

read-a thons,  and sister laughing..

well, i  admit to down right missing last week.

jackson's weather is still tuned into my phone and i have a pang of sadness every time i scroll through it.

i'm not ready for the cold here quite yet...

but snow in jackson?

 well that is a different story entirely.

*sigh*

are you depressed yet with me??

good :)

here is the week in pictures.. not in order, some with the nice camera, some with the snap and shoot,

ALL making me feel a little blue..

AND...

some of you asked who took the pictures on the last post...

that would be my very talented sister Robyn. 

she did a fantastic job.. didn't she?

i love them..

i hope she loves the ones i snapped of her family too.

forget the fact that it was below freezing with the biting wyoming wind in that field..

because her family still manages to look beautiful.

Lamoreaux's...

we love you.

and yes,

she, my sister is gorgeous.

and yes,

you can be jealous.

i am.

Jacskon Hole...

i miss you.

until next year.

xoxo

4 years of being mr + mrs. jackson

does that seem right? i swear it really, truly was just yesterday when we looked at each other and said yes. when i called to tell you i was running a little late, and you knew (even then..) that meant a lot late. the day we cried as we sat and were married and sealed for time and all eternity. the day all those silly photos were taken, the loooong, long luncheon and reception, the anxious and exciting drive up to park city afterwards.. the roses, the candles, the new husband and wife, both needing a benadryl due to the immense allergy attack we received after lavender was tossed (read: thrown..and hard) at our heads as we departed.
the gorgeous time we had in maui.
i loved you then,
and couldn't wait to start our already wonderful life together.

4 years doesn't sound like much.
and really it's not.

but it is.
so so much.
the pregnancies,
the losses,
the children,
the silliness,
the stress,
the fear,
the hope,
the comfort,
the endurance,
and the support.
somehow 4 seems much, much more.
and that boy i married those years ago?

he is gone.
you definitely won't find him here.

because a new man has taken his place by me.
always.
a man who knows me at my worse
and loves me at my worse.
a man who knows i must snack before bed, usually in bed. and is okay with it.
a man who doesn't feel threatened to watch my shows, and help out with my chores.
a man who is so adored by all the females in his home.
this man.
he is amazing.

and together, he and i,
we grow and we learn.

i love you.
daddy of my children,
calmer of my fears,
protector of our family.

i am giddy at the thought of what is to come.

because if we could do all of this in just 4 short years??
oh, babe...
eternity looks pretty darn good.

i love you.
happy anniversary.