i should be in bed.
i'm pretty sure i am a mean mom sometimes,
and i'm pretty sure 99.9% of the time it's because i am so tired.
but alas..
here i am.
on to my thoughts....
we have some mom issues down here on the home front.
as we are all now very aware, Minie is two.
at two, she STILL:
takes a bottle.
EEK..
TO BED.
double eek.
i know... i know..
but somewhere in the wish-wash of the past 2 years she turned from this darling chubby baby into this demanding, albeit adored toddler.
and to make things all worse, she is asking for her "baba" in between naps now. NO, i can say i don't give it to her (most of the time), but if she doesn't get the bottle she definitely gets the B..
which brings me to the next issue.
the B..
that thing is an appendage. we live and breath by the pacifier. don't even mention the thought of sleep without it, and a car ride??
no. WAY.
we've tried maybe a little half heartedly to rid her of such comforts, but at the end of the day she is winning.. mostly because i am REEEAALLLY tired, and sometimes ( most of the time) they just feel like battles not worth fighting.
now onto the topic of this exhaustion...
Poppy Louise..
sissy girl, WILL NOT sleep through the night.
she's up anywhere from 2-4 AM, and from there will only sleep if nursed back to sleep, and then only stay asleep if she is in bed, with me, in my arms. this was sweet for about 3-4 days there in the beginning, but now it's just plain tiring and giving me some major cricks in the neck, and only about 2 good hours of REMs a night.
HOW do I break this?
i know.. shame on me for not Baby Wising, or Baby whispering, or whatever..
it just is what it is, and i am ready for some help.
and another issue..
i want to be done breast feeding.
partly because i feel kind of done,
but mostly because i am ready for dustin to help out in the night..
is this wrong and selfish??
i kind of feel like it is...
but it's the truth.
minie was mostly bottle-fed.. she's healthy, AND sleeps like a dream.
(if anyone points out the small fact that she ALSO still takes a bottle i might cry... so just shh. )
so just as luck would have it,
Poptart won't even look at the bottle without screaming.
she had a brief toleration of it somewhere between 4-6 months,
but these days the mere sight of it anywhere near her body will send her into a fit of wails and gnashing of teeth .
in her mind.. breast IS best.
period.
*sigh*
i know she's only 8 months.. but.
i'm ready.
and to top it all off, little sissy Louise is scheduled to get tubes on wednesday,
and tonight i'm feeling extremely guilty about it.
am i jumping the gun?
she has had 4 ear infections in the past 2 1/2 months.
both doctors (our pediatrician and the ENT) were on the fence. both said it was up to me, that she wasn't in dire straights, but the it could be a good idea.
i just told them, "lets do it".
quite frankly i am tired of her being MISERABLE every other week.. and i was sure at the time it was the best decision.
but now i am second guessing myself, and i feel sick to my stomach when i think of her little body being limp while under general anesthesia...
I KNOW it's practically the worlds simplest procedure, and the chances of something going wrong are pretty slim..
but i am still worried.
am i a bad mom because i am jumping the gun with this?
am i a bad mom if i don't go through with this???
i don't know..
*sigh*..
i know this is dramatic.
but once again,
i admit,
i am dramatic.
any advice would help..
unless it's mean and rude,
therefore posing in all actuality as very unhelpful
:)
good night