So it's been a while since I've posted, and for that I apologize. I've had many family members asking me to update, so for you people.. I finally did it! I've had a bit of a rough time adjusting to our new life, but I am happy and confident to say I am feeling MUCH better now.. So hopefully this blog will stay updated :)
Let's be honest..having a baby is hard. I love my Minie girl more than anything in the world, but these past 3 weeks have been crazy. I've had way too many break downs to keep count, and I've never doubted myself more. Being a parent is huge. I knew going into this that it would be the biggest thing I have ever done, but really how can you fully comprehend that? It's been a little hard for me to get into the groove of being this sweet baby girl's everything. Without me or Dustin she couldn't survive. Now I know up front that concept sounds silly and very elementry, but for me it has been really hard to grasp.. I guess hard is the wrong word.. terrifying is better. We wanted this little sugar bean so bad, and now that she's here I am scared to death I am going to mess up some how.. a feeling I think I will carry around for the rest of my life. That coupled with my plumeting hormones has had me a bit down... oh that, and the immense lack of sleep (how my body functions on 2 hour intervals of sleep that hardly ever equal over 5 is a mystery to me). Most every one I know who has had a baby didn't show this side to me. They all seemed to glide into motherhood so easily and naturally. I guess I may be one of the few who have struggled a bit more, but I have to say week 3 has proved to be much better. Minie is getting into more of a schedule, and I am figuring out more how to handle life as her Mom.
I don't mean for this post to seem like a downer. My life really is blissfully happy... difficult at times, but more gratifying than anything else I can imagine. And I must say again, no matter how tired, scared, or uncertain I may feel that little tootse on the top of this post makes it all worth it. We are a family now... crazy, isn't it?